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For many, the holidays are a time of colorful decorations, celebrations with friends and family gatherings. However, for some it is a time of unmet expectations, loneliness, crisis and sadness. For teens, it can be an especially difficult time of sadness, depression and substance abuse. The holidays can be a difficult time for many reasons.

• Hoping for the biggest and brightest holiday ever and struggling with unmet expectations
• Going back to school and comparing unhappy holidays with friends' stories of happy experiences
• Having family time that is filled with tension, stress and crisis
• Listening to feuding divorced parents
• Waiting for absent parents to call
• Sensing parents' anxiety from overspending and worrying about soon to arrive credit card bills
• Celebrating' with friends by using drugs or alcohol
• Feeling sad due to winter's shorter days and lack of sunlight

Families can work together to help teens deal with holiday sadness:

• Schedule a family game night
• Go to a favorite movie
• Help someone in need
• Set realistic expectations
• Make a party out of decorating the house
• Invite your teen's friends over for a movie and popcorn
• Spend within your budget
• Spend time with positive, supportive people
• Recognize and set realistic expectations
• Enjoy holiday foods in moderation
• Get plenty of rest
• Plan a fun family activity out of doors
• Plan a reasonable number of activities - don't over commit
• Plan ahead - set priorities and budgets before the holidays
• If family is not available start your own tradition and spend it with friends or with a friend's family

If feelings of sadness and hopelessness persist for more than two weeks, or if they worsen, parents should contact their doctor or a mental health center for outpatient care. If a teen is having suicidal thoughts or giving away their possessions, seek immediate care. Call her doctor or go to the nearest hospital emergency department. If a teenager needs residential care, you or your mental health agency can contact Excelsior and talk with us about our short-term intensive treatment program.